How do you learn to trust in a world teeming with devils and deceivers? How do you distinguish between friend and foe? It's like the fable regarding the little boy who cried wolf. The townsmen constantly fell for the boy's lies. When the he actually decided to be truthful, his prophecy fell upon deaf ears. I find myself locked in this battle of learning to trust. Just when I slowly to tear down the brick and stucco wall I have built to encase myself, I find I have let in a lie; there is no wolf. I fear that when truth actually presents itself to me I will not recognize it, discarding what I believe to be a lie masquerading.
St. Anthony, the patron saint of the lost, once found a solution to spotting lies. On his travels he spoke of encountering demons disguised as angels and angels disguised as demons. People implored him, "How could you tell the good from the bad? The angels from the demons?" St. Anthony said, "It is quite easy to tell, for if you feel darkened after meeting the presence, than you were confronted by a demon. If you feel enlightened after meeting the presence, than you were confronted by an angel."
The media has created movies such as Paranormal Activity, The Exorcist, and The Last Rite portraying demonic possessions in a horrific light. Thanks to special affects and the magic of Hollywood, these movies show the ugly, the brutal, and the savage side affects of devil's play. Unfortunately, we all possess a little demonic force within us. That presence grows stronger in some. Most people are powerful enough to excommunicate their demon and resist temptation, therefore exorcising its hold. However, the weak allow for demonic domination. These people are not spewing out green or walking around with rotating heads; they appear completely normal. Their greed and selfishness allow for total dictation of evil. The only way to confirm a demonic encounter: Gage your feelings.
I am struggling to find meaning in all of this. I want to believe in the good, that people are not malicious or cruel. I want to believe lies are non existent and everyone lives a truthful life. I want to believe people can change. But these are just not so and to believe this is to be a fool. My instincts and heart have never synced up; one constantly beats out the other. I look to the day when my heart will finally catch up with my instincts. Only than will I see truth as truth.
