I recently read a heart wrenching tale about a young woman who met an ill-fated end for what she assumed to be "true love." Her great wealth, renowned beauty, and unearthly talents procured her as a most desirable match for any eligible bachelor. One day she meets one such gentleman, who's life she saves from a terrible boat accident. His striking features and sweet disposition hypnotize the young woman. Driven by extreme infatuation ( or "love at first sight"), she immediately goes into a downward spiral of depression because her love seems unrequited. She abandons her family and friends to work on gaining this man's love. In an attempt to make herself more appealing to his eyes, she undergoes painful body changes that leave her in physical distress for weeks. Her hobbies and recreations are dumped like mere garbage so that her free time can be spent partaking in his favorite activities. Each day she works a little harder believing all of her efforts in this one sided relationship are finally paying off. She becomes a woman obsessed, a simple shell of her former self that goes unrecognized by all who know and love her. Still, he never commits to her, continuously leading her to believe her heart's greatest desire is within reach. Suddenly, he meets someone else, falls head over heels in love, and marries. The young woman's heart explodes open hearing this news and she finds her only solitude from the pain is in death. Who is this psychotic girl?... The Little Mermaid!
Unlike the happy-go-lucky picture Disney so vividly paints, the original version of "The Little Mermaid" was filled with immense sorrow and suffering. 19th century Danish author Hans Christian Andersen simply tried to education his young, captive audience through fantasy and folklore. Andersen wanted children to know the rewards of selfless sacrifice for others through the Little Mermaid's. Frankly Andersen was unaware that these behaviors actually take place today among the women in 21st century society.
Women constantly seek self improvement, with the hopes of stimulating desire from the opposite sex. Many turn to physical altercations like botox, liposuction, collegien injections, breast augmentations, and face lifts. They endure constant pain and uncomfortable recoveries to either win the heart of their Prince or win the heart of every Prince out there! Sadly, this latest drug proves so addicting that once the first cut is made, you are hooked. Aside from plastic surgery, some women abandon their own personal joys for the heart of another. I have had many friends dispose of activities, friendships, and even family members to appease their partners. These women completely lose their independence and are left with nothing but painful reminders of their former selves if the relationship ends. I once knew a girl very much like the Little Mermaid.
When I was 16, a friend of mine passed away. I knew her from the beauty salon my family frequented. She was in her early 20's, extremely gorgeous, yet utterly controlled by "love". Her drug addict boyfriend had purchased the house across the street from mine, and she readily moved right in with him. He dragged her confidence level to the ground by his abusive words and hateful actions. Still, her love for him stayed and she looked to improve herself physically in the hopes of igniting the fire. She traded her friendships in for his. Every activity she partook in was merely for his benefit. After, the storms would seem to calm, but with passing time he went right back to his old ways.
One summer night I heard screaming, muffled voices coming from across the street. Suddenly, my friend sprinted from the house, jumped in her car, and sped down the street without so much as a backwards glance. Later that evening I was surprised to see she had not returned, but figured their fight had pushed her to work on a very important relationship; the relationship with herself. The next morning, I awoke to my mother sitting on the edge of my bed wearing a forlorn look. She proceeded to say my friend and her boyfriend had a terrible fight last night, resulting in a break up. Maddened by grief, my friend stole the gun he kept hidden away, drove down to the beach, and shot herself in the head. She was found dead that morning by some fishermen. I was sickened by this story. She had allowed a man to control her entire life and ultimately end it.
Women do some strange things for "love". They try with extreme efforts to please their significant other, yet these men do nothing in return but be themselves. Isn't that funny? We love these men simply for who they are, yet we feel the need to change everything about us in order to gain back that love. Maybe this is why I am still single, because I refuse to conform to the fairy tale. Instead of figuring out what we can alter about ourselves to attract a man, we need to put the person we already are out there for whoever wants us; just the way we are.
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