Decisions Decisions

What is is about parent's concerned words that can make our most desired wishes fall by the waste side? I am in a dilemma and unsure of the right choice.I have been given the opportunity to be a salaried English teacher for the duration of 6 months back in Italy. This was not some sporadic idea I concocted one day due to post break up depression. This goal as been in mind for the past 2 years now, and with the departure date rapidly approaching everyone in my life seems to be in a tale spin.

My parents truly loath the idea, believing I simply despise my mother country and wish to vacation for several months leaving behind all of my responsibilities. "The grass isn't greener on the other side," has become a daily phrase in my house. "Do you have any idea of the money involved with this?" is also another. Dear parental units, I truly love how despite your extreme differences that led to the demise of your marriage you managed to come together quite strongly on this one topic. I congratulate your efforts of cordiality towards each other and hope one day it may lead to friendship, but please allow me to set the record straight on why I wish to partake in this once in a lifetime opportunity...

The only way I can describe my affections for Italy:  it is like falling in love for the first time. Before it ever commences you dream of what it will feel like. Are the movies accurate? Does it consume your every thought? How do you go on if it all ends? Then one day, it just happens... you fall in love. Not just trip, but completely fumble head over heels. You now understand extreme wonder, animal passion, sweet romance. Your heart has comfortably fit the missing puzzle piece into place. All thoughts of your former life pre-love go fleeting out the window. But something happens that pulls you apart; distance steps in and separates you both. Still your love contentiously grows, only to be solidified when a reunion finally occurs. You set your gaze on him after an eternity of waiting and the comfort of his embrace, the familiar caress of his touch has you falling in love all over again.

I had dreamed of Italy since my childhood, yearning as each year passed to finally set foot upon its soil. I heard a great deal about the beauty and charm of this majestic country that undulates with every desire the heart could want; my heart could want. How the mere sight of its historical monuments and romantic art can bring down even the most manly of men. Finally, after the long wait, my turn came... I made my first journey to Italy. Right away I was consumed with complete infatuation of the culture, food, people, and history. My 2 week stay simply was the newlywed phase of my feelings as I skimmed the surface of everything Italy had to offer. After that initial meeting between Italia and myself I wondered how I ever survived it. What was my life like pre- Italy? Of course I did make it back, a total of 3 times. Upon each return I discovered a little more about my ancestral country that pushed my love further. Each return was like seeing my distant lover once more.

This 6 month opportunity to live among the natives again with the hopes of divulging my knowledge further has been placed in my hands. There are many risks to this decision, especially in the finance department. I understand my parents' fiscal concerns: can I live comfortably yet still bind myself with peace of mind to my obligations at home? These are troublesome circumstances should I find myself in hot waters, but I have to ask myself what is worse: Playing it safe by staying in the United States and years later wondering what might have happened; or taking a chance in every definition of the word so I may be reunited with my estranged "lover".

I love my parents immensely, and collecting their support on this is simply a must. I want to know they will support my decision, whether to them it be smart or moronic. I want to know they will support me should I fail in my pursuit. I want to know they will support me... period. Those on the outside of this predicament think this is an amazing chance to embark on a youthful adventure before rooting myself to full fledged adulthood. I find myself in the middle of a constant tug of war; my family on one end and everyone else on the other. As a 23 year old woman who as experienced a bit of the world thus far, I know what I must do. I must walk away from the rope and ultimately decide what is best for me. At the moment I am not sure which choice I should be making but I do know this:

 I am lucky to have a great family whose love propels the constant concern for my well being.

I am lucky to have supportive friends who understand my passion and want me to live out my dream.

 I am lucky to already have been where I have been.