Not-a-Match.com

From the genuis mind of my mother, as a way to shake off the post college blues, I signed up for something I never daned to do before, EVER... I joined match.com

I am a single gal and though I have enjoyed the single life (maybe a little too much), I do wish my prince would find me, sweep me off my feet onto his horse, and we would ride to a castle in the sunset. Or go out for a nice dinner.

I know of all the non-paying dating websites out there and have had a few friends spark some meaningless 4 month relationships from them. I thought, "What fun, I new way to get rejected!" But, then I joined match.

Match.com, for starters, is a paid dating website. You actually have to pay to send emails and sometimes view other people (fun, right?). I thought, "What the hell, give it a whirl for a month. People who pay for these things must seriously be looking to settle down and not play games." And in a month, I met someone.

This someone was great. This someone was a few years older than me, a musician, Jersey boy, Italian, responsible, and very mature. But most importantly this someone knew what he was looking for in a girl. This someone found it in me. He contacted me first with a very well written email about how he admires my musicianship and he loves the fact the one word I use to sum myself up is "class". I figured this guy was definitely worth conversing with. Before long we were chatting on the phone and had our first date planned. I have to admit I was a bit skeptical and very unsure of the date, but again I kept saying to myself, "Give this a chance"!

Our first date was amazing! We had great food, listened to great music, had great converstaion that lasted the whole night, and ended with a great good night kiss. After that night I tried not to pump the situation up because normally I get one amazing date, "I'll call you", and then I never hear from them again. To my astonishment he called the very next day... and the rest was history. We dated for several weeks and I was walking on clouds. He called me everyday and we would chat for hours about anything that was on our minds. We reguarly saw each other: I attended his shows, watched movies together, or we went out on the town. Those couple of weeks we dated I kept telling myself, "This is what I have been looking for. No bullshit. A person who is genuine and knows what he wants."

"... KNOWS what he wants." HA!

One weekend I was shocked to not have received any contact from him. We went from to talking everyday and seeing each other constantly to not conversing for an entire weekend. My pyshic powers (or woman's intitution) told me something was not right. Of course my heart was screaming in my chest to just relax, he is probably busy. Then the phone call came that Monday...

"Hey, listen I want to talk to you about something and this is not easy. We have had a great couple of weeks,  but I am still on match.com because I am not sure what I am looking for and do not think you are it. You are great and all and I had fun, but I am not sure what I want in a relationship, I cannot verbalize what it is, but I want to keep looking."

Ok... so after processing that eloquently put speech, I waded through the bullshit and this was my translation: "You are great, but there might be something better out there only a mouse click away."

I was thankful for the courtsey call (beacuse sometimes I don't even get that), but really?

This is what our society has come down to. While online dating has its perks and gives people the chance to truly meet that "Shining White Knight" or "Damsel in Distress" there are just too many choices. One week you could believe to have found your soul mate, but think, "Just because you are on a diet does not mean you cannot look at the menu, "and then your mouse clicks on an intriguing picture and BAMN! You are hooked on someone you believe to be better than what you already have.

We always tend to want what we cannot have. Most enjoy the game of trying to chase it down, but what happens when you finally catch it? Do you still desire it in the same way, or do you find yourself bored and looking for the next thing that captures your attention? This someone I was seeing wants a relationship, craves a relationship, and he almost had it with me. But it was not enough. I think he might enjoy the chase more than what he is actually chasing after.

Are any of you on dating websites? Do you feel the same or has something like this happened to you? I am not bashing match.com and in fact have made some great friends as a result. In our world today though, no work is required. Everyone looks for the "easy way out" and now it has reached the dating world. Why go out tonight and look for Mr./Ms. Right when he/she may only be a hop, skip, and click away.

I recently watched a movied called "He's Just Not That Into You" and was shocked by the accuracy of a particular quote said by Drew Barrymore's character Mary:

"I miss the days when you had one phone number and one answering machine, and that one answering machine had one casette tape, and that one casette tape either had a message from a guy or it didn’t, and now you just have to go around checking all these different portals just to get rejected by seven different technologies. It’s exhausting.”